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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2006.12.13  17.10 Part of my note to Lenahan [USG Preisdent], complaining about Ruckus: There are tons of other services, web-based ones, which involve allowances and 1cent downloads; put the money invested in this stuff towards student allowances; more to orchestrate? Yes, but students could opt into it and maybe pay a small fee up front, which the university would match. That way, we just download them as MP3's, they're cross-platform, and students can get a good chunk of music legally at very small cost and no one is excluded from the distribution of university funds. Cuz let's face it, the selection on Ruckus, as everyone who's read anything about it, sucks. Hugely. And the members of Terrace f. Club at least will still have to rely on WPRB cd ripping and limewire to find our oh-so-beloved Alt-whatever recordings. But another service at lease would better things for everyone, even if the benefit to the individual were mitigated; at least we'd have selection, wouldn't have to deal with file conversion bullshit, and half the students wouldn't be JK SOL!!

	2006.12.05  21.25 On the DVD skipping: "It's like techno-Brechtianism. the materiality of the signifier..." -T.Love

	2006.12.05  08.56 Dear Diary, Today I learned some things. Between 9pm and 6am. I learned that I love someone. I learned that he does not love me back. I also learned that he does not really know who I am. And I would like to show him, since I love him. I sacrificed all of myself. I'd like whatever's left that's perishable to burn away now, please. Burn, baby, burn. I learned that there is a kind of love that I know nothing about. It sits deep, right behind my heart, and it is a spring of life. It is patient, unworldly, the breath of God himself. This is what convinced me that staying up with him all night, letting him use my computer for his paper, and trying to give him some stand-in motivation for the one he so violently lost. But now that love has been scared back, a little. I know it's there, but it's disappointed, which surprises me. And I find that I am more helplessly romantic than ever in my life, but that no one around me wants the love I have to give. This is because people orbit one another from time to time, only to be pulled away by a more magnetic force. They come in and out, and that's the way it is. Some of us are moons of each other and orbit forever. Mostly, I have not understood myself. Something died all around the newness hatching out, and the moon is full, and I'm once again with a clean slate and cold weather.

	2006.12.01  10.41 Most joyous of joys... Mike Jennings is still in CA, which means all the fretting and freaking out of this week have come to a glorious close, in that I'm off the hook. THANK YOU GOD so that I don't have to non-impress him with my iffy reading of Convolute N...!!!!

	2006.11.30  14.02 shit. here are my courses: VIS309 [intaglio & lithography. i will be screen printing, bitches] GER315 [german stylistics] GER211 [ahah maybe not...t-love, 200-level...i'm thinking might be a little easy] GER523 [or something. scorngold <3] PHY116 [music & physics yessss only 3 hours per week...as a LAB] JRN445 [investigative journalism, because all Marxists need to do a little muckraking every now and again] Stanley will likely be an audit, and phy as a PDF. and no jp [though doing a 50 pager when everyone else is doing like 20 is kind of bullshit].

	2006.11.30  12.56 ah, yes. once again marijuana has cured my ailments, restored my joy, and made life worth living. yes, kids, when you encounter reality critically as I do, you simply need drugs to survive. drugs are one of the best things to ever happen to me. *happy sigh*

	2006.10.19  09.51 yeah i'm not gonna deny it. Read My Result Take the Test

	2006.10.12  05.18 i smoked with perry at 930, with lee at 230, and we're smoking again. i did manage to read some lukacs.

	2006.10.08  11.43 my life is *so changed* yes, it's true last night was actually the best night ever. it included a libatious and hillarious mr. rodriguez, a delightful [but sadly lacking cigarettes] ms. johnson, and one former flame who turned out to be just what the doctor ordered. it's called a reality check, people, and I just got the memo. i am restored, refocused, and revolutionized. the bizarre in-between I was living in, boy-crazy and self-obscuring on one side, jaded and entirely dissatisfied on the other, is over. now, i'm just me. and it's great to be back -- and when I say back, I mean encountering in the same way an essential part of myself, which is the same as before only in its essential-ness; now, refined, questions previously un-asked [before the Tumult, that is] now answered, but more than anything, an awareness of the passing and metamorphosis that is my time, my life. very, fucking, powerful. I'm over everything that's been plaguing me since the beginning of the year -- stuff that started with being wholly in a situation that was a truly shocking culture [vermont], realizing that things that go up for no reason and have nothing to sustain them fall very fast [kelsey johnson knows what] and that falling for what ends up to be a misreading of someone who had way more going on in his head than I a) ever imagined b) ever wanted to know about and c) once was revealed, all fortressed of infatuation were invaded by the refreshing purge that is reality. I want to give huge shoutouts to the following people for being with me, loving me, teaching me in this time: S. Tyler, D. Dietz, K. Johnson, L. Reitelman, C. Schlegel, the kids in 1938, the guy with the hookup [oh yes I mean the *hook up*], mother, father [both indirectly, simply because they are wise and present in my world], J. Cannon, J. Miller, the spectre of C. Pfeiffer, J. Moore [because she brings the love and virtue back into my life, and I don't even need to ask how this is possible, but it happens, man], PERRY [because he takes good care of my playmate], and to all the people who have said one of the following to me at some point: "Fuck this," "This isn't about you," "This *really* isn't about you [so get the fuck over yourself]," "I just realized how fucked up all of this is," "This will be so, so very over so, so very soon," "You're just wrong and you need to get over it," "I think you're distracting yourself." And lots of love to The Usual Suspects, all of my lovers at Terrace, everyone who has ever given me smokables, people who like my blue dress, Depeche Mode, Andy Warhol...and Mac [they made a sweet computer that distracts me nicely]. And, of course, Andrew. Hey, man -- *wow*.

	2006.10.06  16.55 Dear friends, I have officially converted to Marxism. Thinking people of the world, unite. Your comrade, NLH

	2006.10.05  09.40 whose quarters have been severed, and who feels, alack, a lack. Dear Diary, Flames of the pheonix burned, burning, flames and smoldering, stoking, extinguished, but not before damage, done all over, because I sat in the fire thinking it was a throne somehow made for me. Scorched, scalding now, suffocate [myself]. I drew one card, the card was Death. the Tarot, it is rebirth all at once. But it is Death, it is finished, ecce homo and, well, la mort. C'est la vie. To be remade, to strip, to exit. N

	2006.10.04  10.21 sitting on a bench outside of chancellor green on a delightfully well-dressed day (it and me) following a ridiculous night including romps of most varierties (several of them involving one Halliday-Johnson, adding the cock in Kelsey since 1986...), I remarked to myself as I ate my butter/brie/ham baguette: shit, I haven't eaten in like 2 days. <3

	2006.09.22  05.27 in the past 5 days, I have gotten 10 hours of sleep and partial sleep. i want to die. DIE DIE DEATH DEATH DEATH and the tigertones wouldn't share their weed with me BITCHEs

	2006.09.08  11.47 ( My Interests Collage! ) Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by darkman424

	2006.09.05  17.17 this is so horrible. what should I do? am I supposed to quit this group?

	2006.09.04  14.56 *silence* "Do you hear those space noises?" -K. Kelly *silence* "Yes." -S. Whelchel *silence* "It sounds like a baby in the walls" -J. Grody

	2006.08.22  17.15 "You throw like a German." -D Kleingers, on the event of massive Bäckereitütte dunking failures. I will say, though, he represented his kinsmen well, requiring no fewer than 12 attempts to get that fucking thing in the trash.

	2006.08.07  13.00 *nods* I'm in love. http://www.cinegraph.de/kongress/00/alb/ewjjdk.jpg Yup. he's a cutie.

	2006.07.03  21.13 Ok, for serious. sopainfullydeck.blogspot.com I mean, blogs are blogs, and dogs do dogs, bitte sehr. <3

	2006.06.22  05.29 CO1580 Seattle-Newark, 7.50 pacific -4pm eastern CO47 Newark-Hamburg, 6pm eastern - 7.30am hamburg Total travel time: 14hr 40 Total time change: 9 hours lost

	2006.05.31  15.22 i know i asked this before, but does anyone have Mrs. Van's email address? Or Braydon's or anyone's? she has been heavily on my heart lately.

	2006.05.29  19.45 this is hillarious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcWvV5p8mUk&search=princeton

	2006.05.24  08.50 yes. spent from 1am-7.30am festing in terrace. it was exquisite. mag-dog dillon and snoss dog were present as fuck, benjamin dancing in both of their thesis-addled brains. or something. my back hurts and i am delirious. amazing.

	2006.05.20  06.45 oh my god i just climbed through my window into my room it was the most intense thing ever holy shit...!!!

	2006.05.12  23.18 "Whenever wasps are around, I take care of it. I'm like the wasp whisperer." -Juliet "So what you're saying is...you can't be killed." -Jordan